There's a spine on my front lawn.
Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like.
I'm not really positive what normal protocol is for finding skeletal remains on your property. I can't say I've ever sat down on a rainy day and been like.. "Hm.. kind of humid today. I should probably read up on what to do in event of bones showing up on my front lawn."
And you know, it wouldn't even be a HUGE issue if it was, say, a femur. Even an ulna! I'd just assume a cartoon dog moved in next door and, at most, I'd have to chide him for his slovenly habits. (After the inevitable half hour of wacky hijinx, of course.)
But no. It's a spine. Or at least, part of a spine. A particularly large hunk of spine. HOW DOES SOMEONE MISPLACE THAT. Especially so neatly detached from everything else.
Actually, it's occurring to me, I should probably take a picture of this, because I can already feel the wave of 'pix or it didn't happen' responses. And you are entirely in the right to ask this. I'm sending Zombiesmile out now to snap a ph